Friday, 12 December 2014

Zio Antonio Uccisella...One of lifes little legends

Antonio, aka Uncle Tony, was truly one of the worlds special people.  Small in stature but by no means small in spirit or love, Uncle Tony was a man of many things.

Uncle Tony was character, he loved a joke, was always making people laugh, and his eyes would light up when he told a story, even if no one was listening.  His enthusiasm for imparting details of his time in Italy and Australia was captivating, although in the last couple of years with his failing memory we don't know which part of the stories were truth or imagination. He was a cheeky man with an unmistakable twinkle in his eyes.  He had a big heart, which was filled with love for his family but ever so evidently, for his wife, Maria. 

The love story was one that could be the base for a Nicholas Sparks novel.  Boy migrates to a new country at the tender age of 17, a girl from back home was bought up in conversation.  Although back home girl was with another boy that relationship was ending so boy writes to girl, girl writes back, and so the story begins. Back and forth the letters continue until boy asks girl to come to Australia, and she does.  The rest is history.

Maria and Tony didn't have an easy life but they had a life filled with love and commitment to each other.  A truly remarkable notion which in today's society seems to be unimaginable.  Marriage was a choice and one which was for life, a life which for Tony and Maria was a beautiful 62 years. 

What I will miss about my Zio Tony is his laugh, his jokes, his gentle nature and the joy evident in his eyes when his family were around him.  What gives me comfort with his passing from this world, is he is in heaven with my Nonno.  They were the greatest of friends in life and are now together again in death.  They will be up there today, watching over us as we farewell Zio Tony and remember him with the utmost fondness and love.  

Zio Tony, we vow to take care of Aunty Maria, to help her remember you and the love you both shared.  Today will be hard for her but we will be strong together, we will feel your presence with us in the church as we will say our final goodbyes to you, you are truly one of the greats.

Love always Zio Tony, miss you already xx

Thursday, 4 December 2014


With everything that's happened in the last month - and to be completely honest it's been a totally shit month for various reasons - it's amazing how now, with just a small amount of time having passed, I feel completely different to how I did those long four weeks ago.  

I still miss my ex partner, it will take a lot of time to pass to get used to being on my own again (the contact with someone is what I miss the most), but I feel confident that the future will bring the right person my way, when I am ready for it.  I have hope that I will find someone that shares and reciprocates love and is as enthusiastic as I am to build a future and family together.

My self-esteem in who I am has copped a beating and though I am still struggling with negativity in some aspects of myself I know that, with work, I can let comments people make about me wash over me like they used to.  I used to be so confident in who I was, assured and accepting of the person I'd grown into, however, recently I've let it be torn down and that takes time to rebuild.  I'm often told I'm weird, I used to not care and I embraced it but lately these comments are taking their toll.  Maybe I'm being silly are caring too much what others think, and maybe because what I used to be so sure of has proven to be the complete opposite and now I'm doubting everything I'm involved in, including myself.

When I look back over the years it's amazing to see how much change has happened.  I've certainly had many rises and falls career wise, ups and downs personally and have made and lost some friendships.  I guess looking back is a requirement in order to move forward and embrace new directions and paths presented to you.  I've always loved this quote;


this has never been more true in many occasions over the last couple of years.  It reminds us to have courage, to put ourselves first and remain true to your passion whether it be your relationship, career or friendships.  I believe that people and certain situations are put in front of us so we can learn valuable lessons necessary to help grow us individually.  These circumstances won't always present people and situations that will always be in our life, but they will teach us something about ourselves nonetheless. 

Basically, the last few weeks have been a steady road to progress and moving on.  About re-evaluating my options and planning for the immediate future to be ok with being on my own again.  First on the agenda is finding my own palace, a space to call my own.  I really miss my old granny flat I was living in before I moved in with my ex.  It felt completely me, it was a mish mash of furniture but it somehow reflected my personality and it felt like home.  I hadn't had that feeling since my childhood, I miss it greatly.

I'm writing again, which is awesome.  Sorry if my topics get boring but they are therapy and as stated, I'm trying not to let your opinions bother me. I'm doing it for me and me alone.  

I'm able to focus on work, and it's finally starting to allow me to gather some momentum.  I've always been a people person, I usually find out too much information which people seem to freely give, but it has always enabled me to form a bond quite quickly.  I enjoy that this has translated into my new Real Estate career and I feel it is my competitive edge.  

I'm cherishing my family.  Family is everything to me, they are always there when I need, and after the loss of my Great Uncle this week, they have never been more important in my life.

I encourage you to reflect on the years passed and to acknowledge the ups and downs you have been through.  I assure you it will help define what and who really matters to you.  It will provide you with encouragement; encouragement in the fact that even if you aren't where you thought you would be, you are on the right path to achieving your goal, whatever it may be.  Baby steps, small wins and minute milestones are all worth celebrating.  Progress - it's a wonderful thing.

Monday, 10 November 2014

It's been way too long between drinks Blog!!

Hello bloggersphere!  Oh my lordy hasn't it been a while?  I guess the reason I really started this blog was as a form of therapy - the need to write comes when I need to deal with major shit. And that time is now.

You'll notice a blaringly obvious theme in my previous posts - they were written at a time when I was single, and had been for about three years.  I learned a lot about myself in those three years, but probably in the past year and a half, whilst being in a relationship, I have learned the most.  

Whilst being in the most defining romantic relationship of my life so far, one I thought would end in marriage, I've realised many truths about myself.  I am by no means perfect, I have some trust issues thanks to some asshole exes which I still haven't dealt with; I put others needs before myself always to my detriment; and I still - at 30 - lose myself in a relationship to the other person.  I stop doing what makes me happy in order to make them happy.  I thought I'd stopped that shit after the last one!

I always thought that you can't help who you fall in love with - but you do make a choice to make it work, to learn about each other, to choose to make the other person happy and to compromise. Without both parties making that choice it's not worth the heartache in the end.  No matter how much effort I put in and persistent I be to make it work because I know it can, if they don't see the potential in the relationship, it won't work out.  Love can't be a one sided affair. 

I haven't completely lost faith that in time, I'll meet someone who reciprocates what I give out, but from now one I will approach things differently.  I will not put their needs before my own, it will be a balance.  I will not accept being treated as insignificant and ordinary.  I will not accept being treated anything but an equal and of worth.  I will continue to do activities and wear what I like even if they don't like it.

More than anything I am disappointed in myself that I became so enamored by someone that it changed me.  For now though, starting over in new surroundings, finding my feet on my own again and devoting myself to work will get me through the quite times when thoughts will inevitably wander to times of the past.  I've just got to remind myself to remember the good times, there were happy moments shared, but don't forget the bad.  Have no regrets and take on board the lessons learned. 

After the end of something significant I guess it's time to reflect and spend time by yourself assessing where to next. Back to writing (a hobby I love), listening to corny music loudly and eating whatever I like. Bring on the wine, bring on the cheese and most importantly, continue the adventures I had planned, they will bring perspective and I will be able to say I did it on my own :)  Love opened me up to many new adventures, happy times and also heartbreak.  An unavoidable unfortunately, but in the end, will only make one stronger and tougher.

Monday, 18 March 2013

Angelina Uncertain

Lately day to day things have been getting to me more than usual and I am having trouble finding ways to cope with them so they don't weigh me down.  I have always been a person that thinks about things a lot, and I mean A LOT.  I have trouble letting things go, thoughts play on my mind like a record on repeat.  It gets so bad that at night I dream about it as a way of sorting it out, and my Sleep Cycle app on my phone can confirm I am losing sleep because of it.  I am glad to have found the joy of writing, it's a tool I have found helpful in letting out the thoughts plaguing my mind.  Blogging is a way of fielding opinions but also offers the chance to not have to censor your thoughts so you don't offend anyone.  Face to face talk calls for tact and compassion where as writing to people who may never read your thoughts is therapeutic, you can say whatever you like and be completely honest with yourself more than anyone else.

Lately I have been doing some reading on star signs and in particular the characteristics of my birth sign, Pisces, that may explain why I am this way.  Interestingly enough I am very much a true Pisces woman in all aspects of my personality. This is what I have learned about myself, if I didn't already know....

"Pisces women often sense and feel things which other less sensitive folk miss, sometimes making them seem more than a little psychic and mysterious at times. They often pick up on the subtle and unspoken, and are often skilled at subconsciously reading signals from others, such as body language. This powerful intuition can be applied in many directions, for example she may be an excellent emotional healer, a creative artist or an astute business woman.

Highly sympathetic, compassionate, self-sacrificing and unassuming, Pisces women are the most likely to absorb emotions from the environment around them, often becoming happy or depressed based on the mood of others. Due to this they often prefer the company of optimists over pessimists and this creates it's own set of problems, as optimists are generally far less sensitive and compassionate, traits which are equally important in the partner of a Pisces woman in their own ways.

Many Pisces discover that the best route to finding inner peace is to give to others, and in many respects this is the most generous and selfless sign. They tend to give a piece of themselves to anyone they care for, and often get a lot of satisfaction from helping others in general.

They think with their heart and not their head, tending to dislike confrontation or hurting others in any way, and often have difficulty saying no or leaving bad situations or relationships. They tend to always 'go with the flow' and friction of any kind drains their energy. 

One side-effect of their combination of personality traits is sadly that Pisces is easily taken advantage of and manipulated by the uncaring or bossy. This can sometimes create a vicious cycle of lowered self worth and increased need for approval, typically from the very person who is bad for them. One of their greatest life lessons is to learn to be a little selfish, in order to better choose who deserves their help and love.

An idealist at heart, it's common for Pisceans to be attracted to drama, art, creativity or fantasy in an attempt to escape from the gritty reality and periodic disappointments of life. Due to the combination of these factors Pisces typically make attractive lovers to most other signs, though they are compatible with relatively few.

Deep within the Piscean beats the heart of the diehard romantic. Loving, tender, and exceptionally giving, this sign cherishes intimacy deeply. They are passionate lovers that need to feel a real connection with their mates. Quick flings and superficial interludes do not bide well for the Piscean whatsoever. In relationships, they are fiercely loyal and doting. They love to give gifts and to make the person in their life feel like a million dollars. Nothing is too good for the Piscean's love interest!

Gentle Pisceans make some of the best friends there are. In fact, they often put the needs of their friends ahead of their own. Loyal, dedicated, supportive and compassionate, no problem is too big for the Piscean to take on. Big or small, when a challenge arises for family or friend, they will be there in every capacity possible to make things better. Deeply intuitive, Pisceans can often sense when something is askew long before anything is said.

Sensitive, deeply compassionate, hardworking, dedicated and reliable, this is one sign that really knows how to get to the heart of the matter. They can be excellent problem solvers. For the most part, Pisceans don't give money too much thought. They are more concerned with their dreams and goals than with money. Yet, because this is often times a component to reaching their aspirations, the Piscean will ensure they have the money they need. They can be of two minds in this area. On one hand the Pisces will spend, spend, spend with little thought, and on the other hand they can become quite miserly. Yet, in the end there will always seem to be enough to do what they want in life."

(sourced from

Yep the above is me in a nutshell, even down to the money bit and I am blown away by the accuracy of my zodiac sign.  I have always been someone who feels emotions deeply and am often swayed by my heart rather then my head, this is why I have been disappointed so many times I guess, especially when it comes to relationships. Who needs to see a shrink when you can analyse yourself so easily by understanding the qualities that underpin your personality!

So I guess the outcome of this research is to realise that there is an explanation as to why I feel what I feel and in understanding myself better I can look to exploring avenues to cope with situations that prove challenging to me and not others.  

My personal goal for this year is to understand me better, to feel more comfortable in my own skin and try not to let the opinions of others affect how I feel about myself.  Joining the gym and somewhat making an effort to eat better has definitely made me feel happier with my appearance, still along way to go before I resemble Jennifer Aniston but I am determined! The last one will be by far the hardest to achieve and has already been challenging in recent weeks.  When you put yourself out there for others to get to know you there is always the chance that something, whether a spoken word or an event, will provide them with an opinion of you that is untrue, however, the true test of whether they are worth it will be if they persist in getting to know the many other layers of you despite this false belief of who you are at the beginning.  As they say, people are like onions (not stinky and hurt the eyes), but we have many layers to us, and until you take the time to remove the layers you will never get to the core.  

I have a few suspicions as to the reason behind my recent uncertainty and with a little inward reflection and spilling it all out on paper I feel better already.

I'm a big motivational poster/sayings person, it helps me focus. Here's a few from recent times that helped cheer me up...

Take care & remember, you are enough,
Angelina x

Monday, 11 February 2013

Ryan Reynolds that got your attention didn't it

OH MY GOD, it's been four months since I last blogged! No I'm not dead nor have I been swept up by Ryan Reynolds and taken on a romantic plane ride to Paris or some other equally romantic destination, followed by a proposal with a 600 carat diamond ring from Tiffany, of which he sourced the diamond himself whilst on a trek through South Africa, AND had to pry from the paws of a tiger....oh god I got distracted, AGAIN.  I've just been busy (code for lazy).

To be honest, it doesn't seem like a whole lot has happened in the last four months, well nothing different to the previous four months or the whole of last year.  One thing that has become apparent this year is the need for more of a life outside of work.  This came to me when I realised my response to the question everyone asks when they haven't seen you for a while is "oh you know, not much, just working heaps'. HOW BORING!!!! I'm even too lazy and uninspired to make something interesting up. 

So in a bid to make a life more interesting outside of my job, I have joined a gym. Yes I can hear a million people laughing and also a volcano erupting somewhere on a remote deserted island from the shock, but so far the whole exercise 'thing' makes a huge difference.  Unfortunately the experts seem to be right (who would have thunk it!), I have more energy, not as cranky and actually enjoy it! I never thought I'd see the day when those words came out of my mouth, or from my fingertips in this case.  I am still hoping I will morph into the body of Jennifer Aniston or Lara Bingle without much change in my love of food, pretty much think I'm kidding myself with that one.

Next stop on the 'make life more diverse' journey, is to get out more on my time off, not sitting around in my little flat watching movies and being all hermit like.  The only problem with this is doing 'stuff' requires money, meh.  Money doesn't grow on trees apparently, and this sucks giant donkey balls.  Now if I was living in Melbourne, or as I like to call it, Mecca, this wouldn't be a problem.  As long as you have tram fare you're set to go exploring and with very little outlay!  Must move to Melbourne.

Third focus for this year, start saving for next year's 30th birthday EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!! Next year's trip will be known as 'Chrissie & Ange do New York & try not to get killed'.  How super fantastic does that sound!!!! Now I expect this to cost a bucket load so best start saving or maybe I'll have to turn to hooking (something I threaten my mother with ALL the time, she's not impressed to say the least), although customers would pay me more to put my clothes back on than take them off so maybe another money making scheme will have to be thought of.  I can't freakin wait for next year's trip. I'm going to go all Carrie Bradshaw and fall in love with NY.  I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Now for the Ryan Reynolds naked part of the title.....well I can't deliver this one, sorry. Just threw it in there for some fun and a whole lot of happy visuals to start off the day.  You can thank me later by sending flowers, and you're welcome.

Take care,

Angelina x

Sunday, 21 October 2012

Melbourne: Day 1

As I type this I am mid way through my flight to Melbourne for a week of culture, great coffee, food and more excitingly, a whole week off work! Looking out over the wing of the plane I am feeling mixed emotions of both excitement, tiredness (the 1.20am wake up call can be attributed to this) and am quietly shitting myself that, should an emergency occur I am manning the emergency exit door (FARK!!).

Walking through the airport exit doors I am greeted by a typically chilly Melbourne day which is exactly what I was hoping for.  Melbourne is the place for jackets and scarves. The bus ride into the city is familiar and welcomed. After breakfast and a wander through the streets with some family members, yet another fabulous coffee and an out of the blue bucketing of rain (so Melbourne!) it's time to head back to my Hostel (can't believe I'm staying at a backpackers) to have a Nanna nap and get ready to see La SoirĂ©e tonight at the Forum Melbourne. 

I am hoping that this week is relaxing, invigorating and that my favourite city restores my weary soul.  I am in great need of new scenery and to immerse myself in the vibe Melbourne provides.  It is the best place to wander, clear the head and restore yourself after being bogged down by the routine of daily life.  Melbourne is my mecca. My haven. My sanctuary.

I am excited to catch up with friends I have not seen for way too long, meander through previously undiscovered lane ways, eat way too much and research for my own cafe I hope to have one day.

Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Take care,

Angelina x

Friday, 13 July 2012

Family & Motherhood

Family is deeply important to me.  I am close to my immediate family, if not closer since living out of home, and that bond is something which I cherish.  I feel extremely lucky for the connection I have with my parents and my brother.  They have seen me at my worst, listened to my problems, offered guidance and support and more amazingly, are the three people that love me unconditionally.  I can't imagine my life without these three people in it.

As I grow and become closer to the age where I think about my future, and whether there is a family unit of my own complete with husband and children in it, I find myself increasingly warmed by the love I see my friends have for their children.  I love my friends' children and I can not comprehend the emotion they must feel for their kids.  The overwhelming need they must feel to protect and show love to these little people who are so innocent to the world and all it encompasses.  

After each visit to my friends places to spend time with them and their little ones, I can't help but say to myself how much I can't wait to be a mother.  I know it's not all roses and happy times.  It will be challenging beyond what I can imagine, done on little sleep and I will have to learn patience, however, I can not wait to be called Mum.  For me, I feel it will be the most rewarding experience than any job I have now, and at the moment I'm just filling in time until I meet the right person to make a family with.

I have the utmost respect for all mothers out there, your selflessness and strength is enviable.  I have the best role model and mother, I only hope that one day I can be half the mother mine has been.  She is my best friend and will be the best Nanna.  Love you Mum.

 For my Mumma xx

Me & darling Baby Lucy this week xx

Take care,
Angelina x