With everything that's happened in the last month - and to be completely honest it's been a totally shit month for various reasons - it's amazing how now, with just a small amount of time having passed, I feel completely different to how I did those long four weeks ago.
I still miss my ex partner, it will take a lot of time to pass to get used to being on my own again (the contact with someone is what I miss the most), but I feel confident that the future will bring the right person my way, when I am ready for it. I have hope that I will find someone that shares and reciprocates love and is as enthusiastic as I am to build a future and family together.
My self-esteem in who I am has copped a beating and though I am still struggling with negativity in some aspects of myself I know that, with work, I can let comments people make about me wash over me like they used to. I used to be so confident in who I was, assured and accepting of the person I'd grown into, however, recently I've let it be torn down and that takes time to rebuild. I'm often told I'm weird, I used to not care and I embraced it but lately these comments are taking their toll. Maybe I'm being silly are caring too much what others think, and maybe because what I used to be so sure of has proven to be the complete opposite and now I'm doubting everything I'm involved in, including myself.
When I look back over the years it's amazing to see how much change has happened. I've certainly had many rises and falls career wise, ups and downs personally and have made and lost some friendships. I guess looking back is a requirement in order to move forward and embrace new directions and paths presented to you. I've always loved this quote;
this has never been more true in many occasions over the last couple of years. It reminds us to have courage, to put ourselves first and remain true to your passion whether it be your relationship, career or friendships. I believe that people and certain situations are put in front of us so we can learn valuable lessons necessary to help grow us individually. These circumstances won't always present people and situations that will always be in our life, but they will teach us something about ourselves nonetheless.
Basically, the last few weeks have been a steady road to progress and moving on. About re-evaluating my options and planning for the immediate future to be ok with being on my own again. First on the agenda is finding my own palace, a space to call my own. I really miss my old granny flat I was living in before I moved in with my ex. It felt completely me, it was a mish mash of furniture but it somehow reflected my personality and it felt like home. I hadn't had that feeling since my childhood, I miss it greatly.
I'm writing again, which is awesome. Sorry if my topics get boring but they are therapy and as stated, I'm trying not to let your opinions bother me. I'm doing it for me and me alone.
I'm able to focus on work, and it's finally starting to allow me to gather some momentum. I've always been a people person, I usually find out too much information which people seem to freely give, but it has always enabled me to form a bond quite quickly. I enjoy that this has translated into my new Real Estate career and I feel it is my competitive edge.
I'm cherishing my family. Family is everything to me, they are always there when I need, and after the loss of my Great Uncle this week, they have never been more important in my life.
I encourage you to reflect on the years passed and to acknowledge the ups and downs you have been through. I assure you it will help define what and who really matters to you. It will provide you with encouragement; encouragement in the fact that even if you aren't where you thought you would be, you are on the right path to achieving your goal, whatever it may be. Baby steps, small wins and minute milestones are all worth celebrating. Progress - it's a wonderful thing.