Sunday, 21 October 2012

Melbourne: Day 1

As I type this I am mid way through my flight to Melbourne for a week of culture, great coffee, food and more excitingly, a whole week off work! Looking out over the wing of the plane I am feeling mixed emotions of both excitement, tiredness (the 1.20am wake up call can be attributed to this) and am quietly shitting myself that, should an emergency occur I am manning the emergency exit door (FARK!!).

Walking through the airport exit doors I am greeted by a typically chilly Melbourne day which is exactly what I was hoping for.  Melbourne is the place for jackets and scarves. The bus ride into the city is familiar and welcomed. After breakfast and a wander through the streets with some family members, yet another fabulous coffee and an out of the blue bucketing of rain (so Melbourne!) it's time to head back to my Hostel (can't believe I'm staying at a backpackers) to have a Nanna nap and get ready to see La SoirĂ©e tonight at the Forum Melbourne. 

I am hoping that this week is relaxing, invigorating and that my favourite city restores my weary soul.  I am in great need of new scenery and to immerse myself in the vibe Melbourne provides.  It is the best place to wander, clear the head and restore yourself after being bogged down by the routine of daily life.  Melbourne is my mecca. My haven. My sanctuary.

I am excited to catch up with friends I have not seen for way too long, meander through previously undiscovered lane ways, eat way too much and research for my own cafe I hope to have one day.

Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Take care,

Angelina x

Friday, 13 July 2012

Family & Motherhood

Family is deeply important to me.  I am close to my immediate family, if not closer since living out of home, and that bond is something which I cherish.  I feel extremely lucky for the connection I have with my parents and my brother.  They have seen me at my worst, listened to my problems, offered guidance and support and more amazingly, are the three people that love me unconditionally.  I can't imagine my life without these three people in it.

As I grow and become closer to the age where I think about my future, and whether there is a family unit of my own complete with husband and children in it, I find myself increasingly warmed by the love I see my friends have for their children.  I love my friends' children and I can not comprehend the emotion they must feel for their kids.  The overwhelming need they must feel to protect and show love to these little people who are so innocent to the world and all it encompasses.  

After each visit to my friends places to spend time with them and their little ones, I can't help but say to myself how much I can't wait to be a mother.  I know it's not all roses and happy times.  It will be challenging beyond what I can imagine, done on little sleep and I will have to learn patience, however, I can not wait to be called Mum.  For me, I feel it will be the most rewarding experience than any job I have now, and at the moment I'm just filling in time until I meet the right person to make a family with.

I have the utmost respect for all mothers out there, your selflessness and strength is enviable.  I have the best role model and mother, I only hope that one day I can be half the mother mine has been.  She is my best friend and will be the best Nanna.  Love you Mum.

 For my Mumma xx

Me & darling Baby Lucy this week xx

Take care,
Angelina x

Thursday, 21 June 2012

Finding your passion

So I'm watching Julie & Julia, I've always wanted to watch this movie both for the story line & the fact that I love Amy Adams as an actress, but it's got me thinking & reflecting on my life (never a good thing might I add).  How do we find that one thing we are truly passionate about?  Both Julie & Julia loved cooking.  Their love & deep desire for food & cooking enriched & transformed their lives into something greater. 

There are many things I enjoy at the moment; coffee, cafe & wine culture, writing, interior decorating (if only I had a house).  Out of all those things I enjoy, the coffee, cafe & wine culture is the one I so wish I had the courage to turn into something more than a whimsical notion & hope for the future.  I admire anyone who has the self-belief & fearlessness to take a leap of faith toward making their dreams a reality. 

I think your true passions become evident when you spend time on your own.  There is something to be said for prolonged periods of singledom.  Whilst more often I find myself getting lonely & envious of the closeness couples share, I am grateful for being able to grow on my own & to accept the person I am.  It is much easier when you're young to be the person you think others will accept, but growing into the real you & not caring what others think of you is truly a gift.  

Understanding yourself & knowing what makes you happy leads you to the passions which guide & fulfill your life.  I know that may sound a bit cheesy & after-school special like, but that's what I believe. 

Anyway, back to the Julie & Julia thing.  Allowing yourself to embrace something that makes you unbelievably happy takes courage.  I hope that one day I find the courage within myself to turn my coffee & wine passion into a successful business.  The biggest obstacle I face is myself.  Finding that extra bit of confidence to take the leap of faith in my abilities is what I am going to work on.  

At least there is one thing I am sure about.  When I find that person that makes me happy, I know I am content within myself just the way I am & that the person won't complete me, but rather compliment me. 

Good luck on your journey to find your passion, let me know how it goes.

Take care,
Angelina xx

Thursday, 12 April 2012

The Optimism Before The Fall....

Dating is hard these days, just ask any single person, well obviously they're single or else they wouldn't be dating would they? Der.  Every now and then you meet someone that sparks an interest but most of the time, if you have standards, a potential new love is few and far between.  

I am hopeless at picking men.  I am great at picking the wrong one, but I suck at picking right ones.  I have the characteristics of my ideal partner in my head (and framed in my room, a suggestion by another smart friend as it aided in her finding her fiance) but when it comes to the men I usually go for, they rarely possess these characteristics.  Clearly old habits are hard to break.

Recently, very recently, a dear, smart, wise and devilishly sexy (did you like the flattery there) friend took it upon herself to play matchmaker.  My friend and The Man both live in Darwin, I live in Toowoomba, so her matchmaking efforts are ambitious to say the least.  However, after a week of daily texting (all very modern) with the victim lovely man, I am pleasantly surprised at the accuracy of my friends fix up.  The Man and I share similar interests, even down to obsessive cleanliness and interior design (he's not gay, just stating before anyone makes that comment), we are both family orientated, of European heritage and look forward to traveling with a partner in the future. More importantly, he is polite, remembers things I have said and is inquisitive about me and my life.  I am usually attracted to men who have a little bit of arrogance about them, but as time goes by this arrogance usually ends up just being selfish wanker tendencies.  The men usually end up being more like overgrown boys, more concerned with beer and their mates rather than being a gentleman and actually growing up.  Immaturity and selfishness to me is a turnoff, makes me want to shout 'grow up!'.

Whilst physical distance can be hard on a relationship once it gets going, I think there is something to be said for assisting one to grow during the early stages of getting to know each other.  The distance ensures no one gets sidetracked by the possibility of nakedness and conversation to find out what makes the other person who the are becomes the primary focus.  I have found out more about The Man in 5 short days than what I have in many short term relationships in the past.  Nakedness puts a hold on a further exploration of the real person, suddenly time together is distracted by physical closeness rather than working on an emotional closeness.

Fingers crossed I haven't jinxed myself now and the getting to know each continues.

Take care,

Angelina x

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Marriage Made In Heaven

From the moment little girls can dream, we are shown images of life as a grown up.  Notably one aspect of life is at the forefront, picture the white wedding, the princess like dress, the flowers, the cake, the dream boat husband...the list goes on.  From such an early age the seed of the ultimate fairytale marriage is planted. 

As we grow from toddler to teenager to self assured twenty-something, we are on the look out for the man to play our partner in this fairytale life we have been told about in so many deluded story books.  We hope he has all the characteristics of prince charming; tall, dark, handsome, strong, basically the hero to protect and save us from the evils the world will throw at us.  He will battle dragons, thrash through forests, climb tall buildings in a single bound (oh wait that's Superman), to rescue us from the baddie.

However, as we age and experience more than one Mr Wrong, what is neglected from our education on marriage is how difficult at times it will be.  I am by no means even an iota close to being married, may have to find the boyfriend first, but I have many friends who are.  The gift they have given me is insight into the process of planning the wedding, the strain it can put on the relationship, and the hiccups which can be expected after the shine of the wedding day is gone.

What I have learned is the importance of discussing all aspects of married life and especially the life ahead of you both as a partnership.  A life which will be built by both of you.  Often trivial details take precedence such as what colour the bridesmaids will wear, or will the best men wear suits, and the important issues, such as how will we parent our children, household responsibilities and many more, take a back seat.

I think there needs to be a reform in the way we teach our little girls about marriage.  We need to focus less on the fairytale trivial aspects, and teach our girls (and boys) the importance of being a great partner.  We need to stress to our children the importance of focusing on the qualities needed in ourselves first, and then the partner we choose, to ensure a marriage is successful.  After all, when the dress is back in its box, the photo album takes its rightful place on the coffee table, and friends and family move onto the next wedding, what you are left with is the day to day life with your partner.  Suddenly, 50+ years seems more important than 8 hours of festivities in a pretty dress.  

Recently I have learned of the difficulty a close friend is experiencing in her marriage.  Her husband has changed since the wedding and she is puzzled.  She is unhappy, often in tears and her husband is more preoccupied with his interests than devoting his attention to his wife.  Obviously I am unaware of his side of the story, but surely seeing your wife, someone who you promised to love and to cherish from this day forward, is visibly crying and telling you they are unhappy you would want to find out what is wrong? Am I wrong in thinking that this would be a priority?

I can't comprehend how anyone, married or not, is able to dismiss the feelings of another person.  I am genuinely worried about my friend.  She has tried to talk to her husband but he seems to not want to hear her.  I feel like paying said husband a visit and throttling him.  Once the ring is on the finger doesn't mean one can take a back seat and take advantage of their partner.  Neither partner should become a slave to the other, nor hold the other to ransom emotionally making them feel worthless or deserving of anything less than best in the world.  My friend is one of the most caring, thoughtful and giving people I know.  She always puts others before herself and she deserves the BEST life can offer.  It makes me very upset to think that someone who is meant to love her unconditionally and promised to love her forever has such disregard for her happiness. 

Love is meant to conquer all, but what happens when one person in the relationship refuses to listen to the other?  Do you stay in a one sided relationship being the only one trying to fix a problem which your partner is ignoring, or do you call it quits?  I have always believed that divorce is too easy an option these days, but if your marriage makes you desperately unhappy and you have tried everything to fix it, maybe it is the only option that makes sense.

When the time comes and I find my Mr Right, one thing is for sure, I will work on the marriage, not the wedding prior to the big day of declaration.  I have learned that communication, understanding and compassion will be high on my list of priorities to make our marriage work long after the cake has been consumed and the honeymoon is over.

Take care,
Angelina x

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Internet Dating.

Friends, I have something embarrassing to admit.  I joined eHarmony a couple of days ago.  My Mum keeps seeing the advertisements on TV and each time suggests I give it a go. She's at the age where she wants grandchildren so I see where she's coming from since I'm taking my sweet arse time finding The One.  

I've always given into the stigma surrounding internet dating, I thought it was weird and would be embarrassed to explain to people how I met someone should it ever happen.  I have friends that have tried the internet dating thing, it's worked for some, not for others.  I understand that for some people who have a busy work life, or single parents who are unable to go out due to their family circumstance, it would be a relatively easy and welcomed avenue to meet a partner.  

For me, boy was it an eye opener and I haven't even physically met anyone yet!  I figured potential matches would be just like me. Normal. Not all of them screamed crazy, but most of them came across a bit iffy from their profile.  Desperate is not the correct descriptive, but it was clear they had come out of a long relationship and basically were looking for a replacement girlfriend asap.  

Also, is it shallow to disregard matches due to the fact that you simply couldn't be physically attracted to them?  Attraction to me, is a large part of a successful long term relationship, and unfortunately none of these matches from either appearance or what they wrote sparked an iota of interest.   

Basically, I've given it four days and I'm canceling my subscription.  I'd prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way, drunk at a pub.  I'm hilarious when I've a bit of dutch courage in me.  Now I just need to get off the couch and actually go out once in a while.  Meh, maybe I'll stalk someone I fancy, that's also worked for a couple of friends!

A wise new friend suggested I write down all the traits and characteristics I would like The One to possess and keep it handy, it worked for her and she's now engaged.  Today's task, start that list, may need to go get ink for the printer, it could be a long one!

Angelina x

image courtesy of

Monday, 2 January 2012

Here's Looking At You, 2012!

Ahhhhh, the start of a brand new year.  New year's day brings promise of new beginnings, optimism and hope for a productive and successful 12 months ahead.  My favourite part of a new year is the mass declaration of resolutions and goals for the year ahead, many of which after a month we've given up on cause we have put them in one of two boxes, either the 'too hard' or the 'I can't be arsed' one.

This year I haven't made the rookie mistake of concreting my resolutions via Facebook declaration or even putting them on paper and framing them.  This year they have stayed in my head, until now, where they will end up here for scrutiny or it's fanciful brother, ridicule.

This year I am going to recycle two of last year's resolutions, and throw in a third brand spanking new one.  So kids, brace yourselves and get back from the edge of your seat cause honestly, they really aren't that exciting.

Angelina's hopes & dreams for 2012......

* Finish uni  -  this was meant to happen in 2011 but honestly, I gave up and couldn't give a crap. However, I must finish it by 2012 or else they'll kick me out so yes, I will achieve this goal.

* Get fit  -  notice I said 'get fit', not lose weight.  If I lose weight that will be a bonus, but given I love food, actually not just love it's more like adore, honour, and obey it's every calling, this losing weight business is a useless plight.  Therefore, getting fit is my main goal.

And lucky last,

*  Push myself outside my comfort zone  -  this means saying yes to things I would normally say no to in an instant.  This year I want to try new things and experiences and stop playing it safe.

There you go, my hopes, dreams and resolutions for 2012.  If you want to be friends with scrutiny and it's brother ridicule, please leave me out of it.  I don't want to know your opinion because I don't really feel like being accountable to you for following through on the above.

They say what you do on New Year's day is what you will be doing for the rest of the year, given that most people are hungover on New Year's day that's an accurate prediction for the year to come.

Here's what I did on New Year's day, which if it continued for the next 354 days you'd hear no complaints from me.

 * (Top Left - Right) Couch time with Maxxis, Coffee on the deck (Bottom Left - Right) Adriano Zumbo (on DVD or in person, either one), Sex and The City relaxation and couch time

I wish everyone a happy and prosperous 2012.  What are your resolutions for the coming year?

Take care,
Angelina x